ready or not?

t and i often talk about children and when to have them.  it isn't a question of whether or not we want to give up oiur life as we know it for a wee one, but a matter of when.  we had considered trying this summer and possibly starting a family this year.  by the way.  years for me are always academic calendar years, never january to december years.  we postponed with his new big-wig exciting job.  we postponed when we thought we may move to ny for that other job opportunity.

so.  being the anxiety ridden person i am, people like me should not have kids without supervision and definitely not without some form of prescription, i look online all the time at all of these crazy sites about things to consider before considering pregnancy.  i found an interesting article about it.  about what to think about.  what questions to ask.  like could i give up sleeping in... that takes a lot of thought on my part.  but the one that i think about the most is what would i want for my kids childhood that i didn't have... what would i want to be different for them.  wow.

i did not have this perfect childhood and i can answer it quickly on so many fronts.  you know, like that my kid doesn't have access to matches to set her favorite doll on fire.  can we say firebug?  but wow.  how that hit me in a way that makes me think about whether i can live up to all that responsibilty.  can i correct the mistakes of my parents?