an ode that isn't one

i thought about writing an ode to why this creepy little clown marionnette is so creepy.  creepy creepy creep.  but i got lazy and decided to recount a story from my childhood.

it reminds me of when i was a child and was so excited to go to one of the evil empires to meet its clown.  you know the one.  the one that has the addictive french fries and the fountain coke at the right percentage.  yeah, that's it.  you know you crave it too.

so.  i remember being so... elated, pee my pants excited,  about getting to meet ron.  that clown.  i had to be all of four.  my mom gets me there.  i remember talking to her in the car all the way there about meeting him.  excited i tell you. 

we get out of the car.  there he was.  outside of the evil empire where the beef will kill you.  mad cow and all.  there he was.  all tall and clowny and red and yellow and happy and and and and creepy.  creepier than the clown in "it" creepy.  just down right clownish. 

so i did what any self-respecting child would do.  i screamed.  not that wailing scream.  no.  the one they tape to put in movies.  the one that ressembles the tea kettle whistling to be made into tea.  the one that shatters glass and gives you chills like nails down a chalkboard.

my mother picked me up and took me home.  this clown, this doll, this puppet, i mock you and your desire to take over the world with mad cow.  you won't get me.