waiting and wishing and hoping

my summer is not in focus much like this photo and i do not do well with potential rejection and failure.

i need 10 more students and the deadline is fast approaching.  i know students wait until the last minute.  it scares me.  there is only so much i can do before i go nuts.  but for me, it is my career.  my job.  to take students abroad and give them valuable courses and teach them.  spending time in paris is bonus.

and now.  fast approaching is a deadline that could most definitely make me feel like a failure.  i just need ten students and the problem is, i have no control or power over it.  i know i have "interest" in this, but getting them to sit down and physically fill out the form and complete it is a different story.  i can't do that for them.

i hate not knowing and losing such focus.