sweet jesus

here is a lesson in southern charm concerning pregnancy:

it is improper to ask someone seriously if they were pregnant unless you know they are trying to conceive or they just peed on a stick in front of you and you are trying to determine what the double pink line means.

you don't assume someone is pregnant because they are of the age to get knocked up or just because it is kentucky.

no matter how much a woman looks like she is pregnant, there is a chance that she is just plain fat or that she ate too many krispy kreme doughnuts and is just downright bloated.

somehow, these lessons have not made it out to everyone in the world.  i thought i would share them before there is an embarrassing situation that causes a meltdown of all the polar caps in 3 seconds because someone is offended by the mere suggestion that she is pregnant.