divas get them sorted

now.  while t reads this, he will wonder why he married me.  and i will remind him that it was for the sex.

i know that i am the quirkiest woman in the world.  and when you read quirkiest you are more than welcome to substitute the following words: most high maintenance, most ocd, craziest, weirdest, most difficult, or most likely to be hauled away in a straight jacket.

i have some really weird habits that are inexplicable and generally need to be accepted by the general public in order to continue existing in my universe.  remember, lifelong goal of mine is to be dictator of the world.

i sort my m&ms.  and i eat them after being sorted, from fewest of one color up to the most in the other colors.  so if there are two greens, one yellow and five blues, i eat the yellow one, then the green ones then the blue ones.  they taste better this way.

if fruit is put in my salad, i separate it and eat it first.  then i eat the salad.

i do not like salad dressings to have weird fake ingredients.  i prefer dressings to be oil and vinegar based.  and all natural.

hell.  i don't eat food that is touching other food.  military plates were not designed for the military.  they were made for me.

thou shall not toucheth of mine feeteth.  nor shall thou toucheth me with thine feeteth.  this will anger the gods and pisseth the jeorgeth off.  seriously.  i wig out and have a hard time even imagining this happening.  heeby jeebies.

i have countless other quirks that i know are weird and odd.  but somehow, i have managed to go through my life with them and forcing these quirks into other people's lives.  thus cementing the idea that i am a diva and should rule the world.  seriously.