June 2006 Archives

sorry to take so long to blog.  i have actually been working.  my students arrived yesterday and i have not had the best travel experiences this past month.

i should have know problems would arise when the week before i left i had some problems at work.  and things always come in threes (which is why i keep postponing children, in my family kids come in threes too).  but i ignored the portents, the omens and the crows flying in the air.  and alas, i have two more stories to tell you.

for those of you terrified of traveling, these stories are lessons from which you can learn, since some amateur mistakes were made... on my part and on the part of someone else.

i thought i would write an ode to the american keyboard, so from here on out, the spelling is what happens when i don't look down:

ahh the american kezboard.  how i love zou.  let me count the wazs.  zou allow me so much freedom to tzpe things like the foc and the bear went walking into town holding hands.  i can tzpe a question mark Ä:Ä or in this case, on the ferman kezboard, i cantzpe some crayz accented letter that makes no sense whatsoever.  although american kezboard, zou are closelz relared to the german kezboard, this writing example would be far worse in france.

i hate typing in foreing countries.  i look slow and dim.  and besides.  it is quite painful when you are this anal retentive to allow typos to go...

so i thought i would throw my two cents in because not having had children, i feel that i am quite capable of giving advice to people with kids and those who are expecting.  since i am an expert, please take my advice seriously.  and if you have baby fever, or you already have kids, please feel free to apply this advice for the future.

so listen up you and you, because i am going to give you the best advice for raising your kids you will ever receive, and i will do it in two words: duct tape.

yep.  you heard it.  duct tape.

you see, duct tape is the solution to all your parenting needs.

*please realize that none of my thoughts or theories should be put into practice.  if you get offended by the following, then you have forgotten that you are reading the blog of a person who wants to be dictator of the world and wants to institute tiara wednesday.  keep that in mind before pursuing my advice on parenting.

sorry again for the lack of photo.  it was actually a goal for today, but i think you will forgive me after this "brief" explanation.

so.  thomas had a bad day with a colleague who is being, let's say, themself.  anonymity is of the utmost importance here.  so he came "home" after lunch today clearly upset since they had had an argument.  and he wore himself out to the point that the poor guy needed a nap.  clue one that things are going bad.  thomas does not sleep in the daylight.  he would make a horrible vampire.

we then proceed to take a segway, yes, segway (open parenthetical statement: you have to try this at some point, it is the most fun and entertaining.  and it isn't about the tour, it is about the segway!!!), but i have to ask the guide to stop for a moment because thomas looks like he is going to pass out from the heat.  clue number two that hings are going downhill, thomas never looks like he is going to pass out, even when it is hot.

sorry about the lack of computer, but we are staying some place that has no wireless connection.  can you believe that?  you'd think that france was, like, not third-world.  so we are here in dijon.  yes mustard.  but also gingerbread, :0p and red wine.  it is quite pretty here and very hopping.  so i would say that it is worth a visit, although i am still partial to the northern side of france and veer left and i am even happier. 

after our stay here in dijon, thomas and i will be off to visit his family in berlin where i will have my very own bowl of potato salad b/c it is that good.  yes it is.  it is a bowl of potato crack salad and i love it.  i think it would probably taste good in an iv hooked up to my arm.

after berlin, i will be back in paris while my husband gets to go to china.  this is an image i love with his 6'3 blond germanic featured butt is going to stand out in a crowd.  i have told him to get a baby while he is there if he can find one.  that is another one of my images... the baby market where they hold up babies and yell out prices and people pick them up, sniff them, squeeze them and negotiate a price.  isn't that essentially how adoption works now?

ok.  i have nothing else for you.  i will post a picture soon and will have an album set up for you to peruse and be horribly jealous.  especially of the potato crack.