i could die

we went to dinner this evening.  i got the bbq chicken.  half way through, i realized how soft the chicken was.  how moist.  in. the. bad. way.  yep.  it had a layer of yummy uncookedness.

so.  i could spend the evening harfing.  losing all of my internal organs in the porcelain pot.  but before i potentially die, i would like to write my last will and testament.

to thomas, i leave you everything of value.  this way, you may actually break even financially.  it is highly doubtful, but you could give it the old college try.

to my faithful readers, i leave you this blog.  please come to it daily in the hopes that i write from the dead.  i'll probably be sitting next to the chicken that did me in and his will be fitting punishment since i have proclaimed on a regular basis that all chickens have it coming.

i leave all of my wool sweaters to the cats because, well, they like them more than me.

to roxie, the dog, i leave the uncultivated, ungardened backyard.  this way you can still run around like a yahoo. 

i leave my empty corpse to be butchered to ms. glaze.  she may be able to make me into a cool soup.  a gazpacho.  i think i would make an awesome gazpacho. 

to snazzykat, leah, and lulu, i leave you my mtv addiction.  i need to shake it anyway, but i leave you tiara girls, the real world, real world/road rules, made and all the other bad shows on that flipping addictive channel. 

to all of you all who have bebes, snazzykat, t-bone, trish, i leave you all my dreams and hopes for a better tomorrow- and for cooked chicken in a restaurant.