out of the mouth of babes
"honey, you don't have any scruples. will you return this for me?"
my husband has found a new use for my honesty about honesty- which is that i am honest about the fact that i lie. you see, i honestly believe that people are not honest. we come out of the womb knowing that lying is a survival technique. some of us are better at it than others and some of us are willing to use it more freely than others. some are willing to use it at the expense of others, some only for personal gain, some just don't want you or think you need to know the truth, some lie for others, and some, well, some are just pathological.
so, where do i fit in?
i don't think honesty is always the best policy. it can't be. and for that matter, i lie a lot. primarily to my students. i tell those kids all sorts of crap, most of the time just to get them to say something. i make up stories to get them talking, i tell them things that are blatantly not true about me, mixed in with some truth. whatever... and trust me, i have said some pretty crazy things.
i know you are dying to type in that that doesn't count and that the "no, you don't look fat" and all the "white lies" that are out there to spare someone's feelings. but you see, that is still a lie. you can soften it up however you want, but not telling the truth, no matter the objective is technically a lie. and you know what, i am ok with those. lie to me. tell me i am the skinniest b!tch on the planet. tell me i am hot. lie to me baby, lie to me.
but see, here is the thing that i don't think everyone learns growing up, that honesty is best in certain situations, and lies are better in others. and those situations are clearly based on consequences, when does the truth versus the lie save you. the following was my first lesson in this:
picture a four year old wanting to go out and play. her mother tells her to put on an undershirt if she wants to go out. child goes to room, she does not put on undershirt, she goes back out. her mother asks if she has on an undershirt. (now we all know the answer to this, and so does the mother.) the child lies and gets punished. and you know what i learned about that?
i learned that it is best to lie when the person doesn't know the truth. and that i needed to learn to lie better. do you think these jeans make me look fat?
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