a cease and desist letter

to mr. old man in the grocery store,

it has come to my attention that you are unaware of social norms in the grocery store.  it is customary for people to look for items on the shelf while not taking up the entire aisle.

since you refused to comply with my polite request to move out of my way so i could look at the cookies, i am left with no other recourse but to be confused, make faces and roll my eyes as you continually block my passage to the cookies.  i am asking you to cease aisle blocking other shoppers.

i demand that you immediately desist in further cookie blocking as this is an infringement of everyone's god given, amuhrican right to cookies, otherwise i shall be forced to take further action including, but not limited to, pushing you down and breaking your hip.

yours truly,

jeorg