how to get out of anything

so i am not doing the ap reader thing.  i am not sad about that.  but i thought i would give you tips on how to get out of anything.

first, you have to get a backache about two weeks before the event.  nothing to severe.  it should coincide with gardening or lifting or something that will explain it.

second, the day before you are set to leave, you should have pain in your side where the back pain is.  and a headache.  and over the course of the day, general body aches.

third, you should start to freeze while you spike a temperature of 102.7 and in general, feel like you got hit by a bus.

fourth, have your mother take you to the er because you have a high temperature.  while at the er, find out that you have a horrible kidney infection, which explains the pain, and the temp. 

yep.  bed rest and general all around bleck.  but at least i don't have to grade.