Recently in letters Category
um. so yeah. this writer's strike thing. it needs to stop. i have resigned myself to my netflix subscription and to books for forms of entertainment, but is it really so hard to share the profit? is it?
i have resigned myself to the idea that you have sucked me in and made me addicted to those characters on tv. i am resigned to the fact that i consider them part of the family and am invested in their futures (even though i am more than willing for you to kill off quite a few of them). but i need them. please, please, please give the writers part of the internet profit. pleeeeeaaaase!
they deserve it. really. really they do. without them, without the writers, i am left with game shows and reality tv... and really, where is the clever banter and the wit? where? it isn't there! i need the writers. i need them. where would i be without pushing daisies? or californication? or grey's? or heroes? where?!?!?
GIVE THEM THE MONEY!
sincerely,
the princess
it has come to my attention that you are unaware of social norms in the grocery store. it is customary for people to look for items on the shelf while not taking up the entire aisle.
since you refused to comply with my polite request to move out of my way so i could look at the cookies, i am left with no other recourse but to be confused, make faces and roll my eyes as you continually block my passage to the cookies. i am asking you to cease aisle blocking other shoppers.
i demand that you immediately desist in further cookie blocking as this is an infringement of everyone's god given, amuhrican right to cookies, otherwise i shall be forced to take further action including, but not limited to, pushing you down and breaking your hip.
yours truly,
jeorg
my dear cider,
it is not everyday that i get to spend quality time with you. my love affair with you is usually while i am in france when i know i can be with you as often as i want. and although i do not get to feel you tickle me while i drink your bubbly nature every day, i often think of you.
you are refreshing and light and fun yet intoxicating. you are better than a beer but more casual and friendly than a champagne. you are clearly the perfect drink for that moment when i want to sit back and relax and have a conversation with friends.
why i don't spend more time with you, i am not sure. it could be because that would make me an alcoholic and i do not want to be that kind of girl with you. that is why i think we should keep our relationship casual. that, and i am a married woman after all...
forever yours,
jeorg
SHOES Brown Patten "Patty" Leather, 4, friend and longtime love of Jeorg, died Wed, Feb 28, 2007 at her residence in a violent assault by Roxie the dog. Born in Berlin, Germany, the daughter of a cute loafer and a flat, she was a companion and a longtime walking companion. Survivors are a friend and partner, Jeorg, allprincess*allthetime; her husband, Thomas; and many friends safely hidden in the closet. Funeral services and burial will be 6am Tuesday at the trash can performed by city officials. Visitation will not be held. Thoughts and prayers are welcome. You will be missed, my friend and companion.
dear jeans,
we have been together for over a year now. i spent a great deal of my time looking for you. having had many relationships with other pairs of jeans, i had a long list of qualities needed to have a fulfilling relationship with a new pair of jeans. you were that pair.
we spent a great deal of time together. to the point that in the morning, you were the first thing i thought of. getting to put you on as you hugged my curves and made me feel comfortable and sexy all at the same time. i washed you sparingly and felt pains of separation anxiety when we couldn't be together. our bond went beyond the casual jean relationships i have had in the past. i took you to paris with me in the summer so we could walk the length of the seine, and sight see, drink coffee, and share in romantic moments.
and then you betrayed me. after i had given so much of my time and love to you. you ripped. i know it is what all the cool and chic jeans are doing nowadays. that it is hip and modern to rip and show off your attitude in such a way. but i thought we had an agreement. i thought it was just the two of us. and then you decided for the both of us that a rip in our relationship was ok. a rip that no mere patch can fix or hide.
maybe this was an act of betrayal. maybe you are trying to push me away and force me to give you up, so that you can love and be loved by another. but the pain and the hurt is there. i don't know if i can trust you as i did once before. will we have the love we once had? will we ever be able to recover from your hurtful act?
i want to learn to love you as you are now, changed, different. but i do not know if i can be as cool as you are. i just may not be the modern girl that you want.
sincerely,
jeorg
